Healthy Relationships


Against the Grain...

In a culture that says 'do whatever feels good' how can we resist giving our bodies away to people who don't actually love us? Is it just denying the body pleasure or is there more to it? 

Perhaps it starts with a better view of our bodies and souls and what it really means to give yourself away. Here's a great article from Ann Voskamp:

Why Wait Till Marriage: What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

Maybe it starts with how we respect one another and standing up against sexual violence and abuse. We cannot recommend a better article to read than the one below on being real men (and women) of integrity and respect for one another...again from Ann Voskamp because she's just so wise! 

20 Things We’d Better Tell Our Sons Right Now About Being Real Men

A good guide to follow...


A lot of the time relationships evolve and intensify in an order that is unhealthy. You meet someone, like them and immediately things get physical. We are all looking to be loved and experience affection. It may seem that hook-up culture does no harm but in the end these casual interactions do not fill the void. The above "Relationship Attachment Model" is a good way to think about how physical initmacy should be prioritized. As you get to know someone better your trust in them can increase. As you trust them more you will realize you can rely on them. As you know, trust and rely on them more you will want to increase your mustual commitment. That commitment creates a safe environment for touch. The ultimate commitment would be marriage - vowing to love and respect that person forever - with that comes the ultimate level of intimacy too. 

This works in other relationships too. Touch is not just sexual touch. There are different degrees of appropriate touch based on how well you know, trust, rely and commit to someone. 

Don't be fooled by the media and culture that says you have to give up your body to be loved. Someone who truly loves and respects you will respect your body too and will want to pace your intimacy appropriately.